It’s a Mess!

What I heard: “The results of the Lumbar Puncture came back, and it’s a mess.”
Immediately, my mind is thinking, “A mess?” “What kind of mess?”
How bad is it???

As the doctor continued to speak, I realized he didn’t say, “a mess.”  He said, “MS.”

On May 1st, we received the “official” diagnosis for my son. Prior to this day, the doctor felt confident that our son had MS but of course, has to run all the testing to be certain it is and is not something else.

I will say what I initially thought he said – a mess – seems pretty accurate.  I feel like our lives have been totally flipped upside down, shaken around and stirred by MS. Our son has been amazingly awesome through it all. It’s mom who is the total mess.  I feel like our lives have been consumed by these two letters in the alphabet – MS and there is no way to escape it on any given day.

It’s been almost a month since that day and our son is finally receiving meds today, which ironically is World MS Day.  The wait for treatment has been longer than I had hoped for – but sooner than I could ever want. No parent ever wants his or her child to face disease of any kind. Still, no parent wants his or her child to suffer.

So, today, we find ourselves at the corner where Faith and Medicine meet.  We know in our hearts that we serve a mighty God who is our Healer! Still, there are voices saying, “Just pray for him,” or “The Lord has already healed him!”  Although well meaning, sometimes these words leave me feeling like others think I lack faith or that I don’t pray for my son….Trust me….We PRAY! And our faith in God is what will get us through each day.  As ministers, it’s a tough corner to be on…we WANT that MIRACULOUS HEALING! How can we teach healing and still have a son with disease?

Being ministers does not exempt us from trials of this life. We still have a walk to walk. I know God heals! I know the benefits (and risks) of modern medicine.  I know God heals through modern medicine.  So, as my husband and I prayerfully walk this road with our son, I know God will walk with us. I stand in the gap for his healing – until that is manifested, my son will get the best medical care possible.

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